Revelation
by blackswan13
Summary: Amanda is having a hard time fighting her feelings for her boss. What happens when Olivia somehow finds out about them anyway?
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

Amanda was sitting at her desk in the squad room, unable to concentrate on her work. She was feeling tired and exhausted after barely catching any sleep the last few nights. All day Amanda was working hard on fighting her inapropriate feelings for her boss. At night these feelings overwhelmed her and left her wide awake.  
Amanda hated herself for the way she saw Olivia. She was constantly worried that the older woman might notice and in consequence transfer her to another unit. That would be the worst, Amanda definately did not want that. So she had be careful to not let it show how attracted she felt towards her Sergeant. Doing that all day was hard and frustrating.

Sometimes Amanda imagined what it would be like if Olivia felt the same way towards her. But usually she quickly dismissed the idea, because she knew it was not true. Olivia liked men, everybody knew that. She had just broken up with Tucker a few months ago. Amanda however had known very early that she prefered women. At SVU only Fin knew about her being gay. He had already recognized the way Amanda looked at Olivia.

Lost in her thoughts Amanda did not notice her boss approaching her.

„Are you done?", Olivia asked.

Totally startled Amanda looked up.  
„What?", she asked in confusion.

„Your paperwork, the reports, Rollins. Are you done with them?"

„Oh, yes… no, but I'll have them ready for you soon, Serge."

Olivia sighed and walked back into her office.  
Amanda internally scolded herself for giving Olivia another reason to hate her. The brunette had hated her from the beginning, Amanda was sure about that. She just did not know exactly why Olivia seemed to dislike her that much.

„You alright?", asked Fin who had witnessed the short conversation between the two women.

„Yeah. No. I don't know.", Amanda admitted.

„When was the last time you slept properly? You seem really exhausted and distracted. Maybe a few days off might do you some well. I know you hate vacation but…"

Before Fin could finish the sentence Amanda began saying:  
„No, you're right. I gotta get out of here for a while."

Amanda was determined to stick to Fin's suggestion. Being away from Olivia would be good to overthink everything and come up with new strategies to cope with her feelings which were clearly affecting her work right now. The blonde immediately got up from her chair and knocked at the door of her Sergeant's office.

She entered the room after Olivia had given her permission to do so. Her boss was sitting at her desk giving Amanda a surprised look. She did not hesitate.

„I need some time off, please.", she simply stated.

Olivia looked shocked and almost kind of concerned at her.

„Now?", the brunette asked unbelieving.

Amanda nodded. „Yes, Sergeant."

For a second Olivia thought she could see tears in the blue eyes of her detective.

„Is there a special reason?", Liv asked her.

Amanda did not know what to say at first.  
„Yeah, some personal reason.", she replied proud of herself for seemingly keeping her distance to her boss.

Olivia was slightly disappointed that Amanda obviously did not trust her enough to tell her about why she needed time off. Olivia somehow wondered if she herself was the reason Amanda wanted to leave so quickly.

After Olivia had agreed Amanda left the precint, saying she would be back in a few days.

Later that evening Fin came into Liv's office to say goodbye for today.

„Do you know what is going on with Amanda?", Olivia asked him suddenly.

He could tell that she was worrying.  
„I guess she's just trying to handle some things.", he replied, avoiding a direct answer. Fin had known that his partner was in love with their boss before Amanda was even able to admit that to herself. He guessed why she had wanted to get away so suddenly.

„Is it about me? I had such a feeling earlier."

„Well, I think you should ask Amanda yourself, Liv.", Fin said.

„I know I'm not making it easy for her often, but why would she hate me so much that she takes time off to get away from me?"

Fin had to smile, because he knew Amanda was feeling the opposite of hate for Olivia.

„What's so funny?", she wanted to know.

„It's just… Just believe me when I tell you she doesn't hate you. Quiete the contray…" Fin immediately regreted his words when he saw the look of realisation in Olivia's face.

„Oh. You mean…? I did not know Amanda was into women.", Liv said honestly surprised.

„Damn, I shouldn't have said that. Please act like before, like you don't know. She does not deserve to be punished for her feelings. You know she can be professional."

Olivia was not so sure she could simply ignore this revelation.


	2. Chapter 2

Hey guys, sorry it took me so long to continue. This is a two-shot, so this will be the last chapter of the story. I know it's really short but I hope you will like it.

Chapter two:

Later the same evening Amanda opened her door after the bell had rung and was shocked to find Olivia standing in front of it.

„Liv?"

„Hey, Sorry, I know it's late but can I come in for a moment?"

"Amanda hesitated for a second, because she actually did not want to face her boss at the moment. But then she stepped aside to let Olivia in. The older woman closed the door behind herself and gave the blonde a cautious look. She seemed uncomfortable.

Amanda could not bear the silence any longer and asked

„So… why are you here, Sergeant?"

„I was worried about because it's so unlike you to ask for leave. It really took me by surprise and I kind of felt like something was not alright."

Amanda shook her head. She wondered why Olivia cared.

„It's nothing. I just really need a break from…"

„From me?", Olivia asked, interrupting the blonde.

Amanda's heart beat increased. She did not know how to react since Olivia was technically right. She had wanted a break from Olivia because she could not handle her love for her Sergeant.

„Amanda?", Olivia asked when the other woman had been silent for quiete a while.

„Why would you think it is because of you?"

„I don't know. I had such a gut feeling, which rarely fools me. Amanda, is it possible that you have certain feelings for which go past our Sergeant-Detective relation and friendship?"

Amanda felt her cheeks turning really hot and her heart was racing now. Tears were forming in her eyes when she realized that Olivia knew her secret and would probably have to transfer her.

Looking into Amanda's eyes Olivia saw deep despair. A few tears started rolling down Amanda's flushed cheeks. Olivia's heart broke at the sight in front of her. It seemed like the young Detective had reached her breaking point.

Olivia carefully stretched out one hand, brought it up to Amanda's face and wiped some tears off her cheek. „Hey, why are you crying, sweetheart?"

Amanda was so deep into her emotions she did not even notice how kind and caring Olivia's voice sounded. She could not stop a sob from escaping her lips.

„Because you're not supposed to know that" Because I know I'll lose my job now. And it's so fucking embarrassing because I know you don't like me at all!", Amanda got out in between sobs.

Olivia couldn't supress the urge to embrace the other woman.

„Hey, everything will be alright. I promise you that nothing's going to change about your job at SVU, okay? And about the other thing: Amanda, have you ever considered that the way I act around you, which you interpret as me disliking you, is actually my attempt to deal with my fear of the feelings that I have towards you?"

Totally perplexed Amanda looked at her Sergeant.

„What?"

Liv had to smile slightly. „You heard, me, sweetie."

Still unbelieving Amanda stared at the beautiful woman in front of her. After a few seconds of shock Amanda slowly leaned forward. Olivia did the same and their lips met to exchange a soft kiss, that both of them had secretly craved for a very long time.


End file.
